Well, I can't sleep so I finally decided to start recording all the oddness that has become what I call My Life. I've been thinking about it for a while and as My Life blurs past me (Christ...how did I turn almost) it almost make sense that I keep some sort of record of it. So much funny/crazy/hiliarious/unbelievable shit happens to me and I just end up telling a couple people and then moving on, I figure why not share it with the world at large.
As a sit sleepless pondering my stress puppy life I can't help but feel that I am missing the boat to somewhere. It's been 2 years to the day that I lost my 'MBA caliber' job. Funny, I didn't even realize that until now...odd coincidence. In that 2 years, I have changed a lot personally. I guess we all have to adapt to our new environment and I have become an Internet Porn Guy. Although it's taken me a while to admit it to myself (and others) that's the reality of things.
While I am still lucky to have found a decent paying job in this Bush era it is definitely never what I thought I would be doing with my life, that's for certain. After working like a dog for the past year I just finished responding to an email from my boss as to the recent revenue declines we have experienced over the past 3 weeks. Working in porn isn't all that bad but the lowlifes that surround me have had an impact on my being. The constant barrage of sex toys, extreme porn DVD covers of women in the most unimaginable acts, having to look at gay porn, endless porn sites and office weirdos /inhabitants/co-workers that comprise my visual inputs on a daily basis all amount up to some twisted shit.
Also, the surroundings have made an impact and made deal with some almost unbelievable experiences. First, let me establish a few things I have learned: 1. Tons of people consume porn; 2. The anonymity of the web really brings the deviants out; 3. Because we are dealing with internet porn consumers think they can get away with anything; 4. People are disgusting.
So, with that here's a little examination of some returns I have had to provide guidance for my customer service reps:
- Customer bought 12 inch vibrator that was 'defective' so she sent it back....after extensive anal use. The thing was literally covered in feces; I was completely appalled. What did we do? Sent it back to her with an y explanation of our returns policy.
- Customer bought a pair of Danni's FFF Jiggly Fantasy Boobs - Used them a couple times, then stored them in his bureau. The lube leaked/leached into his drawers and ruined his furniture piece. He sent them back to us with a note demanding credit for the 'defective' boobs as well as for his ruined furniture. So, after fucking a pair of fake tits he stuffed em in his drawer and got mad when the lube messed up the wood. How about examining your personal actions instead? Credit request denied.
- And then there was the guy the bought a Kobe Tai Realistic Vagina - Used it a few times then found that his back was hurting him and wanted us or the manufacturer to pay for his medical bills. Here's a novel idea - stop fucking the rubber vagina loser.
wow- this is pretty fun. I will continue more later.